Cannibals may seem nice but they’re just trying to butter you up
So my sister’s out for the day and my sister’s room is completely covered in One Direction posters
So I thought “why not cut out 350 shrek faces
aND MAKE EVERYTHING SHREK”
I PRESENT TO YOU
350 shrek faces
No face left uncovered
Now we wait
MAN DOWN MAN DOWN
This is a thing of beauty
It’s the dedication that makes this joke so funny.
One of the best things about Erik Satie is that after a certain point in his life he started to pepper his piano miniature scores with all sorts of bizarre performance instructions meant to destabilize even the most seasoned performers.
Stuff like “With conviction and a rigorous sadness,” “With a healthy superiority,” “Don’t eat too much,” “Hypocritically,” “Shake like a leaf,” “Do not cough,” “Go away,” or “Like a nightingale with a toothache.”
For years I had heard about these directions, but without any kind of authoritative list of them I decided to download all the Erik Satie scores at IMSLP and screenshot my favorites. There got to be so many that I had to present them in this sort-of-powerpoint format. This collection isn’t anywhere near exhaustive, but it’s a nice introduction. (The translations are for the most part my own, and I welcome any corrections.)
Oh, and if you’d like to read a nice introduction to Satie’s life, the proto-postmodern invention of “furniture music,” that time he founded his own religion, and the piece he wrote with 840 repeats in it, click here.
why do girls have fake pockets when guys can fit a laptop in theirs
What’s the point of having friends if they won’t be there for you when you’re having problems or listen when you need to confide in them about your issues?
Not everything is fun and games. I swear, every time I make friends things go great until I hit a rough patch for whatever reason and everyone ditches me. It makes me feel like some kind of burden, and it’s very hurtful to feel abandoned and neglected by everyone.
I’m not gonna apologize for being who I am. I’m not gonna say I’m sorry for being neurotic and stressed and either immensely or insufficiently emotional. But I’m sorry that people feel like they don’t want to deal with me.
I would love to be the fun kind of friend who hangs out and shares inside jokes and takes goofy selfies with everyone, and I could be that person if people would just open themselves up to me and let me be that person with them instead of shunning me just because I’m worried about some things in my life.
What happened to wanting to make things better for people so they can have a good time instead of avoiding them because they’re having a bad time? Feeling like no one cares about you can drive people insane with loneliness and insecurity.
Don’t drive people insane. Show them that you care.